i just spent three hours applying for one job

but at least it was a damn good application. i may not get it, but it won't be for lack of carefully wording skill sets so as to imply others i don't actually have. but that in itself is a valuable marketable skill, right? one that i'm getting much better at. which is oddly satisfying. i've always been horrible at lying, a trait that normally manifests itself as painful personal truths i blurt out at socially inappropriate moments. like when i told my first boyfriend that i have commitment problems, or when i told potential employers that i have trouble planning in the long term well, or now.

anyway, i've totally gotten better at this lying by omission thing. it's like writing a term paper when at 3am the morning it's due you realize that your thesis is crap. you have to carefully craft your argument so that you pull attention away from the logical holes. in a way, i'm more proud of myself than if i had the appropriate experience for the job in the first place. but we'll see if it's enough to actually land me a job. at least it's leased me some feelings of self-worth. and you can't put a price tag on that. fortunate, because i wouldn't be able to afford it if you did.

well, i can't get bogged down in this one job. i have to keep working on the job search and keep my eye on the prize. the prize being a job, or on a smaller scale leaving the house with some frequency.

now i have to figure out some reason to leave the house.