on the up and up

sorry to keep you guys in suspense thinking i'm in chicago cutting myself and crying myself to sleep every night, but i had some computer troubles that kept me and my internet addiction uncomfortably apart. the night my tire was stolen was definitely the low point of my life in chicago, but now i've had some time to relax and think it over and i'm in a better place now. and, let's be honest, i'm not in upstate new york, so life is okay.

for one, i officially quit my job. there were just too many problems with that place. i talked to my bosses for a while about my complaints, but it didn't help, if anything it solidified my desire to quit. i know that i can't be happy there. i can only hope that something changes as a result of my leaving, but, in the end, it's not my problem anymore. in any event, i hope that i keep the friends i've made there.

last night was my last shift in the dining room, which was bittersweet. i really like the people that i work with and i really love the customers on the whole, but when i feel the need to drink on the clock in order to get through the shift, i know that i should go elsewhere if only for my liver's sake. the diner has the potential to be an awesome place, but they've got some shit they need to work out.

i'm leaving for europe on wednesday and i don't think it could have come at a better time. i think the rough plan of attack is fly into verona, then to nice, barcelona, madrid, and paris. now, i just have to pack and shit. today is for laundry and buying things like another memory card for my camera and travel-sized shampoo. anything i need that you know i'm going to forget?

this trip should be a nice way to clear my head of everything that's been stressing me out and to think about where i want to go from here while relaxing on some sunny topless beach somewhere exotic.

right now, i think i was overreacting by freaking out and saying i was going to move somewhere on a whim. it's just so damn hard to pick up and move somewhere without knowing anybody. on the whole, i really like chicago, i just don't think i'm in the right frame of mind right now. i'm going to make some changing and see how i feel about things. i've been so negative the last few months, but i'm hoping with a new job, a new place, and some warm weather that'll change. thank you to everybody who gave me advice or talked me down from the ledge. i love you all and hopefully will talk to you soon.

in the mean time, i'm seeing islands tonight. woot! and i happened upon the end of their set at the apple store. a pleasant surprise unlike the $90 i had to spend on a replacement power cord. yipes. i'll let you know how it goes. kisses!