and she moves to the city

post-birthday euphoria

2008-11-21T10:00:00.001-08:00

yesterday was my birthday and it was incredible. i didn't bring my camera but i believe there was an incriminating photo shoot at one point that i'm sure will make it's way to the internet within the next couple days. chicago definitely feels like the place i need to be right now. my life feels so right right now. i still need to get a job that actually pays the bills, but that doesn't even matter at the moment. i've got a great family, wonderful friends, and a killer boy in my life and for now, that's more than enough. thanks for all the birthday wishes. i love you all.

the prez throwing the shocker.

2008-11-14T09:15:00.000-08:00

um. holy hell.

If you work from your home, and Johns call on the phone...

2008-11-06T09:10:00.000-08:00

I've spent most of my morning reading Letters From Johns. It's a blog that posts real letters from men who seek the company of working girls. The posts are fascinating. They show a pretty wide spread of characters, from a recently divorced professional to a sufferer of Christian guilt to a female medical intern. They're surprisingly personal. These people aren't two dimensional, though some are self-absorbed. Though I still can't detach myself from the atrocities of the sex trade, it's interesting to see the complex reasonings behind sex for money. There's a corresponding Letters From Working Girls, but I haven't made it that far yet.

In other news, at the moment, my life is awesome.

surprise, surprise

2008-10-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

every time i try to tinker with my bike, i get half way through only to realize i need some tool or random bolt. sometimes, i get lucky and realize sooner, but normally that only means i'll run into another problem later on.

tonight, i was attempting to convert my 10-speed to a 5-speed by taking off the smaller chainring but discovered i needed smaller chainring bolts:

they are necessary in order to make these:

come together as this:

but tomorrow, hopefully, i'll get moving early enough to make it happen and make my bike once again rideable which will make me happy. plus i got to use my brand new (like most of my tools) crank puller, the tool you use for taking off the arm of the pedals.

yesterday, i finally finished changing out the front brake system. my old brakes were old and unreliable which are not the most desirable of traits for brakes to be. the project was way over my head but with enough time and trips to home depot, i figured it out which made my feel like a badass.

in conclusion, bike repair is fun.

2008-10-21T21:22:00.000-07:00

now that i have a job, though it isn't so much of a money maker, i clearly have an unfulfilled need for drama, tension, and intense haphazard planning, including but not limited to extensive list making and excessive firefox tab-age. so my latest far-fetched scheme in search of happiness and self-satisfaction is a bike tour across america.

obviously, this plan is in it's infancy so now is not the time to get bogged down in the insignificant details like "where will i get all that money?" or "won't i be catapulting myself into the uneasy waters of unemployment yet again during what will certainly be the second great depression?" of course there are some kinks to be worked out, i've only just decided to do it. but that's why i'm giving myself a year and a half to plan. hopefully, that will be enough time to get it all together to make it happen.

at the moment, i'd really love to go across the north of the country down the western coast and then back east. but that is an enormous undertaking that would probably take more time than i could devote to it. so no time like the present to start slowly hacking away at the dream in order to create something more feasible albeit less idealistically awesome.

and have i told you lately how much i love the internet? i've found a bunch of references already. one website, Crazy Guy On A Bike, is one guy's journal of his trans-am bike tour which he later expanded to include similar journals from hundreds of other bikers. from what i've already gathered, reading about other people's journey and more importantly their mistakes will be an enormous asset for doing it myself. want to see what i've already learned?

RV parks have discounts for bikers.
using less than current guide books can put you in sticky situations
Charlottesville, Va has a Cookie Lady that's been offering cyclists water, cookies and a place to stay for over 25 years. how amazing is that?

i'm excited about this new prospective journey. but then, aren't i always?

i heart neil gaiman

2008-10-17T13:41:00.000-07:00

recently, neil gaiman went on a US book tour. i got very excited when i learned about it. moments later, i got very sad because i realized i would be at work while he made his stop in chicago. then i started concocting a scheme to drive 6 hours to minneapolis in order to see him a week later. then i realized that was silly and settled back in to my incredibly uneventful life. but then i found out that his readings from the tour are available on his website. you can hear the whole book there.

i liked it very much. but i'm a sucker for neil gaiman. here's a trailer for it. it makes it sound all spooky, but it's really not.

putin turned 56

2008-10-10T17:34:00.000-07:00

and got this tiger cub as a birthday present.

i want a tiger cub for my birthday.

yoga update

2008-10-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

i've been pretty good about doing yoga every day, though i have missed a few. i got a little bored with the two semi-naked kiwis, though it was fun while it lasted. it's too slow of a routine and i found myself getting restless and distracted. it's a pretty good introduction to yoga, but i wanted something a little more dynamic.

i found another routine on youtube, that's succeeded in kicking my ass. it's more challenging and definitely requires some previous experience. it feels more like a work out and it includes more upper body exercise which i enjoy. i'm a long way from tapping out this routine. i think it'll take months before i can fully do a lot of these poses. the first time i followed this one, it was all i could do to keep up. but i'm finding as i get more familiar with it, i can focus more and more on the poses. hopefully, i'll eventually get to the point where i just think about the breathing. but one step at a time.

youtube continues to be a spotty video streamer, so i'm trying to figure out a way to download from it. a friend of mine mentioned something about it, but i'm still doing recon. i'll let you know what i find out.

i hate ants

2008-10-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

so today i spent several hours tearing apart my room to get rid off anything that could be construed as ant food. for context, it's not like my room is filthy. there aren't crumbs on the floor or a mountain of laundry or old dishes festering in forgotten corners. i clean like once a week. and i did laundry last weekend. and most of my room consists of bare hardwood floor.

well for the last week, i've had a steadily increasing ant problem localized in my bedroom. until today, i'd just been killing or vacuuming them up when i saw one. (side note: it's really hard to kill ants with three-ply tissues. another reason why they shouldn't exist. the tissues, not the ants.) but they're just ants, what are they really capable of?

i underestimated them. the last 24 hours have changed the stakes. last night they bit my leg while i slept which was surprisingly irritating considering they're like a centimeter long. this pissed me off, but was not in and of itself that big of a deal. but what do a find this morning but a swarm of ants covering a pair of dirty underwear. they actually ate through the crotch. that's just beyond disgusting. plus, i liked that pair. i mean, they weren't my favorite pair, but they were still A team. or at the very least, high ranking B team.

this means war. but they're clever little bastards. i think they're coming out from under the floorboard next to my closet. i sprayed some chemicals back there, which seems to have stopped them for now. fucking bastards. on the up side, my room is sparkling.

all through this ordeal i keep thinking of that paula poundstone bit about ants. you know the one i'm talking about? good, because i can't find anything about it online.

gimme the cash monies.

2008-09-29T12:18:00.000-07:00

at first i wasn't all that excited about getting this job, but oh man, i just realized how excited i am about the prospect of getting a pay check again. my mouth is salivating at the idea of being able to buy shit again. like i can start taking trapeze again, and i can get a haircut, and i can buy presentable clothes, and ooh maybe a sewing machine. well, you know after i pay off all that shit i've been buying on credit. wee! consumerism, how i've missed you!

god, the museum of art and design is so tight

2008-09-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

the first time i encountered this museum was while in new york with erin last spring. we happened across MAD because we'd be walking forever and whatever more notable museum across the street was closed. i did not have high hopes. but we went in and they had a bombing exhibit on modern embroidery. i'm pretty sure that this museum is my subconscious embodied, only more well-developed and talented.

well, i keep running across articles for exhibits there that look amazing. the most recent catalyst for the tingling in my pants that this museum inspires is the 'second lives' exhibit they're running right now, which is all recycled art. the picture below is called 'sound wave". le sigh. if you are in new york in the new future, please check this place out and tell me what you think. because i think i want to live inside this place.

in other news, paul newman died last night. this makes me more sad than i feel entitled to be over a celebrity. he was just such a fucking badass, and a stand-up fellow, and he was happily married to his wife for 50 years. well, so it goes.

now i should probably talk about my own life, since there are actually things to talk about. or, i guess, thing to talk about. so today was my first day at the bread store. it was actually really cool. my manager seems like she's got a good head on her shoulders and her priorities straight, which is so refreshing after a year of shit jobs. i'm still going to look for jobs that will give me a salary, more responsibility, and health insurance, but i think i'll like working here. plus, i got a loaf of bread to take home today. that's pretty fucking sweet no matter how you cut it. haa!

so i got a job...

2008-09-26T14:22:00.000-07:00

but i don't know how i feel about it. it's a cool enough place, and it's around the block. but the pay isn't great and it's food service. so i'm feeling very conflicted right now. i mean, i really need to take it because i've got bills to pay. so far i've been staving off debt, but that's going to end soon if i continue to be unemployed. my mom said that i should take it and keep looking, which i think i'm going to do, but it feels like cheating. well, i guess we'll see what happens. i'll keep you posted.

book art = bart, or maybe boort

2008-09-25T10:26:00.000-07:00

check out this site. it's book spines cleverly arranged to make complete thoughts kind of like haikus.

in other news, today was the fifth day in a row that i did my yoga routine. go me! yesterday was definitely the hardest, but i guess it's yet to be seen if it continues to get easier each day. this is by far the longest i've kept up any sort of exercise regiment. sad, isn't it, when 5 days count as my longest commitment to fitness? good thing i just ate a chocolate bar. well, it's time to start thinking about being productive today.

if you want to be horrified, look at this bacon tiara.

day one of i-don't-have-a-job-so-why-not-start-worrying-about-getting-into-shape

2008-09-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

got up this morning at quarter of 8 to drive my sister in to work.
did what i have now decided will be my (bi-)daily yoga routine.
took pictures of myself in exercise gear in order to track progress.
realized how unattractive i look in exercise gear.
convinced myself that this will only work to increase my resolve.

now, it's time to:
take shower.
go to the museum of science and industry. (it's free, bitches!)
come home to bountiful job opportunities to which i will apply.
start knitting a hat.

tomorrow:
pick up set of bike wheels from a friend of mine.
fix bike.

soon (also tomorrow?):
convert bike to single speed.
finish aforementioned hat.

i think that's good for now.

namaste

2008-09-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

so i've been trying (half-heartedly) to find a free yoga routine online for a little while now, and i finally stumbled upon a pretty good one. it focuses on watching your pose and your breathing and doesn't go to far into the hookey stuff, at least not by yoga standards. anyway, if you're looking for a nice relaxing workout, i'd recommend it. it's about an hour long. check it out:

i just spent three hours applying for one job

2008-09-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

but at least it was a damn good application. i may not get it, but it won't be for lack of carefully wording skill sets so as to imply others i don't actually have. but that in itself is a valuable marketable skill, right? one that i'm getting much better at. which is oddly satisfying. i've always been horrible at lying, a trait that normally manifests itself as painful personal truths i blurt out at socially inappropriate moments. like when i told my first boyfriend that i have commitment problems, or when i told potential employers that i have trouble planning in the long term well, or now.

anyway, i've totally gotten better at this lying by omission thing. it's like writing a term paper when at 3am the morning it's due you realize that your thesis is crap. you have to carefully craft your argument so that you pull attention away from the logical holes. in a way, i'm more proud of myself than if i had the appropriate experience for the job in the first place. but we'll see if it's enough to actually land me a job. at least it's leased me some feelings of self-worth. and you can't put a price tag on that. fortunate, because i wouldn't be able to afford it if you did.

well, i can't get bogged down in this one job. i have to keep working on the job search and keep my eye on the prize. the prize being a job, or on a smaller scale leaving the house with some frequency.

now i have to figure out some reason to leave the house.

i was going to post banned cartoons but...

2008-09-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

check out these weird as shit japanese mcdonald's ads.

i kind of like the music even though i'm not sure what's going on.

OMG

2008-09-08T07:40:00.000-07:00

free rice has other subjects now. i'm in love.

FreeRice: Subjects

basking in my computer's warm glowing warming glow

2008-09-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

one good thing about being unemployed and having an rss feed is that i've been way more up to date on current events than ever before. i've lost touch with the world just outside my apartment, but i'm so much closer to the world at large. as a kid, the news was always on in our house. but as much as i've always tried to act like i know what the fuck is going on in the world, it's always been a peripheral knowledge, listening to others recount the news or picking up headlines here and there. it's kind of like when i started discovering music on my own, only less self-involved. it's as hard as it ever was to hear about destruction, appression, those it's-probably-too-late environmental stories, and perpetually moronic campaign coverage, but at a time when my own feelings of self-worth are so low, it's nice to feel part of something bigger.

another thing that being unemployed and having an rss feed has made me realize is that my friends need to post way more. that's right, assholes, i'm talking to you. and i'll read anything. you could post every day about what you're eating for lunch and i'd read it.

my dreams are creepy and dorky

2008-09-05T08:04:00.000-07:00

i've been having pretty vivid and involved dreams recently, probably because my life is pretty boring. i mean, the highlight of my week is project runway. last night i was getting chased by a very manipulative human-formed cthulhu. it seemed real because of just how involved it was. before i woke up, a dude came to fix our sink (i wish that would happen in real life), and cthulhu sent down someone's sister to give me a beer and tell me to put everything on his tab. meanwhile, i think he was outside plotting my demise. damn, i'll never be a smart as cthulhu.

mmmmm...

2008-09-04T19:56:00.000-07:00

i definitely had a dream last night that involved stuffing my face with cupcakes. but these were not just any cupcakes, they were tiny cupcakes on top of regular sized cupcakes. i think i may be a genius. now i just wish i had some cupcakes...

Monfuckintana

2008-09-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

well, right now i'm coming to terms with the fact that i need a job real soon. i'm getting way too broke to keep rocking the unemployment. so unless some sort of miracle happens, i guess there go my big plans of giving away the restaurant life. i'm depressed about this. but it'll be okay. right now i'm eating a delicious smoothie, so life is good.

anyway, i spent this past weekend in the mountains in montana hanging out with some old family and some new family. my cousin corrie's wedding was gorgeous. it was on a montain just outside of missoula proper. this is the view from the top of the chair lift. i thought the chair lift was going to be crazy scary because i'm petrified of heights, but after the intial 10 minutes it was mostly fine. it didn't hurt that i got to take a beer up with me.

my sister and i where staying up at the lodge where the ceremony was held. since it was a 30 minute drive down the mountain into town we mostly chilled with my family and help prepare for the wedding. corrie and greg are big hippies so practically everything was done by family and friends.

corrie's sister lindsey designed a floral mandala to display on the altar. it took the two of us probably somewhere around 6 hours to complete. aside from looking a little Michaels, i think it turned out really well. it was fun playing with flowers and feel like i was lending a hand in something special for corrie.

in other news, my brother's engaged! i'm so excited about it. we're going to have a sister-in-law! cara is absolutely amazing and the two of them are so good for each other. plus, i get to be in a wedding! weee!

off to montana

2008-08-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

tomorrow morning, bright and early i'm flying out to montana for my cousin's wedding. it's in missoula which is a small college town but promises to be good sights, good booze, and good people. it's my first time out that far west.

and hopefully i'll come back with some more exciting news on the family front. fingers crossed!

i got rickrolled, hard.

2008-08-20T19:05:00.000-07:00

i admit it, i've gotten sucked into the olympics. there's just something so alluring about it. i guess it's all that triumph. it's like constantly watching the climax of one of those based-on-a-true-story sports movies that for some reason always make me cry. well today i was trying to find the footage of Usain Bolt winning the 200m sprint and in the process i got rick rolled. which brings up an even better video, the Barack roll.

the man who made that is my hero.

also, is there any need for a 3-ply tissue? it's like blowing my nose on a diaper.

i want to knife a bitch.

2008-08-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

i don't understand. will there be a time when i'm finally surrounded by level-headed adults? i feel like i keep getting older, but the people around me keep staying the same age. if you're in your mid-twenties, doesn't that mean you're old enough to take responsibility for yourself and not be a self-centered dick? i mean, really. it's not that hard. just stop acting like you're constantly the victim and everyone's out to get you. start man-ing up and face the day with some dignity.

this dude i had one passionless night with actually accused me, not to my face mind you, of being a lesbian because i didn't have the sex that he made no attempt to instigate with him. i mean, really, we all know that saying no is not my strong suit. the fucking nerve of him. and what really boils my blood is that he didn't even give me the slightest indication that he was anything but tickled to see me every time i ran into him. and then behind my back he acts like there was too much between us to be friends. come on, dude, grow up. grrr. when will people stop being big ol' floppity pussy lips? why can't people just be genuine? is that really too much to ask?

so of course i sent him a super bitchy message on myspace. have fun on your 15 month homeless trek to enlightenment, asshole.

to be fair i was coming from boystown

2008-08-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

dirty wandering hippie #1: i love your dress.
me: thanks.
dirty wandering hippie #2: too bad you're a lesbian.

i am all that is woman!

2008-07-29T14:22:00.000-07:00

i just finished fixing the brakes on my bike for the first time. go me!

so my front brakes started squeaking pretty badly in the last week or so which was most apparent when i was trying to act all too cool for school biking behind this adorable bike messenger boy and come screeching up to the red line beside him. needless to say, i didn't get his number. anyway, i did some research online which told me that i probably needed to toe in my brakes, meaning adjust them so the front of the pad hit the wheel first:
now, this took substantially longer than it should have due to my own ineptitude, but hey that just makes it feel like more of an accomplishment now. so eventually i figured out that though there may be other methods for other bikes, what i had to do was physically bend the metal brake arms into the right position. fixed it up right as rain.

along the way i figured out a bunch of other stuff like how to tighten and adjust the brakes. exciting! the next project is to rewrap my handlebar tape.

just came from pitchfork

2008-07-20T21:57:00.001-07:00

dear hipsters,

if you are enjoying a show, you should show it by, say, dancing or if not that than gently tapping your running short clad leg or even rhythmically twitching your mustachioed lip instead of crossing your arms over your ironic prairie view elementary class of '06 tee while looking aloof in your retro neon green sunglasses.

love,
me

p.s. don't worry, i still want to do you, until you acknowledge me in any way. let's be honest, you're just not as good at talking as you are at silently judging everyone around you.

home again, home again.

2008-06-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

things i missed when i was in europe:

mexican food
the value of the dollar
my knowledge of the french language

things i miss being back in the states:

my constant companions
employment
being able to talk about really inappropriate subjects in public because what are the odds they know what "sloppy seconds" means?

man, i had a really great trip. now i'm back in chicago and it's just as i left it, messy room and all. it's nice to be home.

tied up in a neat little package

2008-06-22T21:03:00.000-07:00

my life has been going through a lot of serious changes recently, so this will probably turn into a rather long, rather personal, rather unfunny post. i understand if you want to take this opportunity to check out more interesting websites like this or this.

when i broke down last month, i realized that some shit had to change. there wasn't any option about it. i was unhappy, extremely unhappy, and my life felt like it was falling apart. step one was to quit my job. that was the biggest part of the problem and the easiest and most immediate change i could make. i have no doubt that it was the right thing to do. it was past due, but it took me more time than it should have to figure out i didn't owe my employers anything, especially when they didn't give me respect, or a voice, or proper overtime compensation.

leaving was hard because i didn't have something else to blame it on like moving, or graduating, or finding a better opportunity. i had to own up to why i needed to leave. i had to tell my bosses that they were actively making me miserable, which is a difficult thing for me to say. i've never quit a job like that; i've always had another reason i could hide behind. i'm glad i said my piece to the managment before i left, even if in the end nothing is different. i look back on that experience and feel that i respected those around me without sacrificing my respect for myself. though i wish the circumstances had been different, it ended as positively as i could have hoped.

when i knew i had to quit my job, my first reaction was to leave chicago and run away from everything. i think it made things simplier to look at life that way. it was all wrong and all i needed was to wipe the slate clean and start fresh again. i wouldn't have to own up to all the little things. i could spread the blame over all the aspects of my life like pressure on a bed of nails, allowing my unhappiness to be sustained by everything, but the burden of no one part.

but i always run away, from everything. instead of sticking around to fix my relationships with jobs or people or places, i use what i see as unalterable flaws as justification for throwing them away entirely and hoping for something a little more perfect next time. if i left chicago, it would be for the wrong reasons. it may be cold, but it'd be a lie to say that's what did it. chicago has too much going for it to leave now. it feels like home, more than any other place could. i'm not willing to give that up just yet. but i can't live here like i have been. i've been treating it like a rest stop, a place to collect myself but not to get invested in. living like that can't make me happy. it doesn't matter if i'm staying here one year or ten, if i don't start making this city mine, next year will be no better than the last.

i'm in a really good place right now. surprisingly this isn't everything i wanted to say, but considering i'm reaching my limit for thinking and you've probably long passed your limit for caring, this seems like a nice stopping place. again, i love you all and i'll post pictures and stories from europe soon.

hola, mi amigos

2008-06-10T07:46:00.000-07:00

i don't even know if that's correct spanish, probably not. i guess it doesn't matter much, since we aren't going to spain anymore. there's a train strike going on right now, how french. we thought it would be over soon, but looks like it's going to last long enough to stop us from going to barcelona. i really really wanted to go to barcelona. it looks amazing, but i guess i'll have to make a separate trip there. on the positive side, i think we'll get to spend more time in paris because the trains may still be running there. anyway, things that have happened while in nice:

we saw a guy get caught cheating on his girlfriend at the beach
we sunbathed topless
some dude was taking pictures of topless beach-goers, creepy! so keep your eyes peeled for possible pictures of my tits!
we got super trashed in our hostel last night while our roommates that we've nicknamed choad and puke-y talked about going out but never did.
our room has a skylight that opens up onto the rooftop. the view is amazing.

nice is super trashy, but i kind of like it. it's growing on me. i think being a vegetarian has helped me see a lot of really awesome places that i never would have gone to otherwise.

anyway, life is good and i'll have a lot of interesting stories to tell when i get home.
kisses!

before i leave

2008-06-03T23:21:00.000-07:00

today, i:

loosely organized my pictures into some sort of grad school profolio-prototype
worked my last shift at the diner
got a bunch of addresses for postcards and promises of future hanging-outs
had a emotional and over-due but on the whole constructive discussion with my sister about our living situation which ended in my decision that it would be best for me to move out
hung out with my two totally awesome cousins
packed for europe

not on that list: sleep. ah, well. you can't win them all.

but wow, my life is oddly coming together, or at least resolving pretty nicely at the moment. i think i'm genuinely happy.

tomorrow:
europe!

on the up and up

2008-05-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

sorry to keep you guys in suspense thinking i'm in chicago cutting myself and crying myself to sleep every night, but i had some computer troubles that kept me and my internet addiction uncomfortably apart. the night my tire was stolen was definitely the low point of my life in chicago, but now i've had some time to relax and think it over and i'm in a better place now. and, let's be honest, i'm not in upstate new york, so life is okay.

for one, i officially quit my job. there were just too many problems with that place. i talked to my bosses for a while about my complaints, but it didn't help, if anything it solidified my desire to quit. i know that i can't be happy there. i can only hope that something changes as a result of my leaving, but, in the end, it's not my problem anymore. in any event, i hope that i keep the friends i've made there.

last night was my last shift in the dining room, which was bittersweet. i really like the people that i work with and i really love the customers on the whole, but when i feel the need to drink on the clock in order to get through the shift, i know that i should go elsewhere if only for my liver's sake. the diner has the potential to be an awesome place, but they've got some shit they need to work out.

i'm leaving for europe on wednesday and i don't think it could have come at a better time. i think the rough plan of attack is fly into verona, then to nice, barcelona, madrid, and paris. now, i just have to pack and shit. today is for laundry and buying things like another memory card for my camera and travel-sized shampoo. anything i need that you know i'm going to forget?

this trip should be a nice way to clear my head of everything that's been stressing me out and to think about where i want to go from here while relaxing on some sunny topless beach somewhere exotic.

right now, i think i was overreacting by freaking out and saying i was going to move somewhere on a whim. it's just so damn hard to pick up and move somewhere without knowing anybody. on the whole, i really like chicago, i just don't think i'm in the right frame of mind right now. i'm going to make some changing and see how i feel about things. i've been so negative the last few months, but i'm hoping with a new job, a new place, and some warm weather that'll change. thank you to everybody who gave me advice or talked me down from the ledge. i love you all and hopefully will talk to you soon.

in the mean time, i'm seeing islands tonight. woot! and i happened upon the end of their set at the apple store. a pleasant surprise unlike the $90 i had to spend on a replacement power cord. yipes. i'll let you know how it goes. kisses!

chicago: a million, rachael: 0

2008-05-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

congratulations, chicago, you win. i can't handle it here anymore. i just can't.

today, walking out of an extremely shitty shift at my job that i hate, the back tire on my new bike was stolen. next to my bike was someone else's flat tire. thanks. i really fucking appreciate that. i don't fucking get it. am i just not meant to live here? does the soul of this city hate me? i was just about to say that i'd just throw myself in and give it another year, but i don't know that i can. fuck, i don't know that i can get through the summer. i hate my job, i can't keep a fucking bicycle to save my life, it's fucking june and it's still freezing outside, and living with my sister is just not working out.

at least i'm going to europe in a little over a week. maybe i'll just pick up and leave after that. i don't know. it's glaringly obvious that i don't know what to do with my life.

epic.

2008-05-21T21:25:00.000-07:00

things i'm not excited about:

potentially having trapped in the closet stuck in my subconscious for eternity
my job

things i am excited about:

the new ratatat
the new islands
islands show on june 2nd
going to eurooooppe via atlanta
visiting austin?
my new bike!
friends!
the harvest-esque moon on the city skyline

soooooo, today was in (my head) every way epic. but let's back up a scooch.

on monday, i had the day off, did productive things like cleaned my room, danced around in my underwear, went to the bank, and drank a beer in the shower. to top the day off, my sister wanted to buy a bike as her entrance fee into "the cool club". i was to be her extremely inept shopping guide, teaching her the extreme basics of bikes.

as we were pulling away from our apartment building, i looked out of my window and happened to notice that where i had left my bike the day before, only 2/3s of it remained. sigh, i needed that wheel to make my bike go. they didn't take anything else off it, just that. why would you steal that shit? it was a heavy, old, out-of-whack mountain bike wheel. fuckers. so i bought myself self-tanner and milk duds.

so today, i had the day off (again! yay!). i went down to a co-op called working bikes with a bike savvier coworker of mine named erin. this place sells cheap fixed-up bikes two days a week and here's how it goes down:

when it's nice in chicago everyone in the whole fucking city decides they need to rush outside into the not face-stabbingly cold weather, probably while on a bike, but only on a cool, cheap, vintage road bike bought from a not-for-profit volunteer-staffed co-op. so an hour or so before it opened, me and 40 of my closest septum-pierced, chuck-wearing, flat-ironed side-part sporting hipster buddies were hanging out waiting for the place to open.

meanwhile, i was progessively getting more nervous, thinking that it was going to be like one of those creepy semi-annual bridal sales where all the twenty-something bride-to-bes maul each other to save $30, only more aloof. which it kind of was. i didn't get a bike, but i almost bought a bike that was a little too big, a little too fast and a lot too cool for me, because it was about $150 over what i wanted to pay for it. it was really pretty, though, and i'm a sucker for that, time and time and time again.

so 40 miles, 3 bike shops, and 8 mildly boring but friendship solidifying hours later, i got a bike with my name on it, literally! i went to this hole in the wall bike shop over by work. they hooked me up with what promises to be an awesome bike. they are selling me the bike, changing the tires, re-taping the handlebars, fixing the brakes, giving me a tune-up, guaranteeing the parts for 60 days, and throwing in a puppy that craps rainbows for $165 which is an awesome deal. i'm so stoked! i'll be able to get to work in like half the time! plus, i'll finally be able to return the judgmental glances of all my biking tattoochioed hipster brethren. yay! i'll be too cool for school, too! while we're talking about school, i'm thinking about going back to school for architecture (which i will one day be able to spell correctly on the first try) and moving out of the mid-west. more on that later, i guess.

the day ended with many friends at a vegan pot luck with high life and a lime watching top chef. there are days when chicago is divine. if it doesn't steal your shit.

p.s. erin, if you're still reading this, erin (the other one) used the word "pro-pro" to mean "prostitution" today and, after laughing hysterically, i thought of you.

p.p.s. for those of you counting at home, number of hyphens in this post: 16. i'll see if i can beat it next time.

these days.

2008-05-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

things i've learned recently:

flying standby largely isn't worth it. the money you save on flying is spent on overpriced airport drinks to pass the time (and by "you" i mean "me")
columbus, ohio is a cute little town, with a number of veggie/vegan restaurants
i should always live in a place with a maximum of small local businesses and a minimum of large chain restaurants
the more i work in mis-managed businesses, the more i think i'm doomed to open one of my own just to satisfy some urge for completion in myself
i'm far too judgmental for internet dating. my criteria for attraction are based way too much on physical presence for me to put any more stock into it. it has been an interesting experiment in human nature though. also, i really dislike casual dating. it's weird and exhausting and there's too much expectation.
i'm getting ansy, something's gotta change soon.

does anyone want to start an art project with me? stop, collaborate, and listen. so i had this idea today at work thinking about how everybody likes getting mail but rarely sends any. i was wondering what the response would be like to mail random people across the city or country things. i'd like to send random people packages of who knows what, whatever i feel like i guess with the goal of them mailing back me and someone else who would mail them and someone else, and so on. i don't know the best way to go about this, if i should get people's names off the yellow pages or if i should solicit them from the internet. in any event, i'd like to set up some sort of website for people who receive packages to go to and read about the concept and hopefully upload their own thoughts and pictures and for them to, in turn, mail the person that mailed them and someone else. what do you guys think? any input, ideas, how would you respond to mail from a stranger? do you want to help? what do you think?

much much love.
i leave you with this:

go me!

2008-05-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

my thoughts and name were approximately cited in the athens banner-herald today:

rights festival still relevant after three decades

woot.

dear internet,

2008-04-23T13:51:00.000-07:00

i miss school.

love,
rachael

p.s. tell europe i'll see her soon and the state of illinois her $6 is in the mail.

uh-oh.

2008-04-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

i've started thinking those idiotic indie mustaches are kind of cute.

this is a very bad sign.

i can never think of good april fool's pranks.

2008-03-31T21:26:00.000-07:00

hey folks,

i just got home from my 8th day straight at week. feeling a little tired and a smidge flighty, but generally good. it's getting warmer here! i even think it snowed for the last time this season! i have the feeling that if i lived in chicago a while, i might pay a little more attention to whether or not punxsutawney phil saw his shadow. anyway, i guess this is the place for bullet points again?

recently:

visited new york. got to see all those wonderful kiddies. for pictures of all of our capers, check out my new picassa account:
http://picasaweb.google.com/the.pantsless.rockstar
everyone seems to be really good right now. it was nice to see everyone in their new lives. i get the impression that life is pretty good all around at the moment.
johnny depp's filming in chicago, over by where i work. i live a glamorous life. d.b.j.
i was hanging out and heard this song:

i have to say, it's sappy and i have no clue what happened to them, but i like that song. my sister thinks they probably play to packed bars these days.
working a lot. but that's a good thing. big money, big money, no whammies.
going to a vegan potluck for top chef tomorrow. i don't know how to cook, though, and i'm hanging out with a bunch of bakers. i might just bring the booze. but maybe i'll try to cook something... any ideas? the theme is band inspired cuisine.
i've been slacking on the knitting front, but i'm going to get back on the wagon (off the wagon??) i'm working on a double-knitted argyle hat and a pair of vegan gloves for a friend of mine. i promised him those gloves a loooong ass time ago and need to get cracking. i just need to come up with a pattern.
my new year's resolutions have been mostly good.

i took that glass blowing class. it was awesome. i want to take another class, but it's expensive and far away. also, one of the guys who teaches the class is a big ol' toolbag.
i've been riding my bike again. finally pulled out the bike that jim gave me, fixed it up, put on my lock-mount and whatnot. i'm totally uncool riding my mountain bike through the city, but it's flat as shit, so it's not that big of a deal. maybe i can make mountain bikes the new illogically hip trend.

upcoming:

my parent's are coming up this weekend! my dad's excuse being that he wants to see the winslow homer exhibit at the art institute. i'm not too big on homer, but i'll take it.
just bought some tickets for eddie izzard in may. woot! that bitch better be fun, because them shits were expensive.
bought tickets to europe, mother fuckers!!! carrie and i are going to fly to verona on the 4 of June. after much anxiety on both of our parts, we got the same flight over there with seats next to each other and plan on spending 14 consecutive hours drinking, freaking out about crashing to our deaths, purging secrets because of said deaths, and watching in flight entertainment which i hope will be mariah carey's master opus "glitter". exciting!

if you have any advice for things we should do or places to see, by all means let me know.

going to philly in july for my grandmother's 100 b-day partay. yup.
going to montana in april for my cousin's wedding. i've never been out that far west.
now, i just need to figure out what i'm doing next year. that, and file my taxes.

i guess that's all for now. time for bed-y bye! much love! talk to you soon!

am i sexual? yeeeaahh.

2008-03-27T22:39:00.000-07:00

I'm going to post for real soon, but for now, i leave you with this little momento:

i know, right?

a quick update

2008-03-07T23:27:00.000-08:00

tomorrow i'm going to new york to visit miles, jd, erin, and shannon.

today i got my passport for my impending trip with carrie to visit fran and laura in verona and phillip and kaylyn in paris.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

if you're looking for something war-time-y to read...

2008-02-11T01:09:00.001-08:00

so i was going to post this in with the other one, but i think it deserves it's own. it's a book review, i guess. i'm not normally one for book reviews, but i feel like everyone i know should read this book:

i just finished a fucking fantastic book that it seems like no one else has heard about. it's 'johnny got his gun' by dalton trumbo. it was written in 1939 in response to the first world war, but it's extremely relevant today. it almost seems like no time has passed.

it's about a solider that's lost all of his limbs and whose face has been blown away so that he's essentially trapped inside his own head. it's incredibly powerful. it's not as soul crushing as it sounds like it would be. there's so much beauty in it. a lot of the book is about the beauty of everything we take for granted. the beauty of life. even when we are pained or hurt or bored or tired, we feel and we're alive and we should revel in that. we write off causalities of war as impersonal figures, as statistics, but we should be shaken and bruised by the loss of a single limb, at the lost of a single life, let alone the hundreds, the thousands, the millions of lives. we enter into meaningless wars for empty words like 'democracy' and 'liberty' and 'freedom'. but those words mean jack shit if you're dead.

i was overwhelmed by two quotes from the book. one i think was beautiful, is beautiful, but whose weight is largely based on context. he's realizing that he's lost his legs, after he's already figured out that he's lost his arms and his hearing. his pain is so human. it's so simple and ordinary and scared like the kid that his is. that's what makes it all so heartbreaking. he's no hero, he's just a boy that got shipped off to fight for nothing.

"He started to kick out with his feet to move what was under his legs. He only started because he didn't have any legs to kick with. Somewhere just below his hip joints they had cut both of his legs off.
No legs.
No more running walking crawling if you have no legs. No more working.
No legs you see.
Never again to wiggle your toes. What a hell of a thing what a wonderful beautiful thing to wiggle your toes."

that last line: What a hell of a thing what a wonderful beautiful thing to wiggle your toes.

it crushed me with it's fucking simplicity.

the other one, i think, can stand alone:

Now I lay me down to sleep my bomb-proof cellar's good and deep but if I'm killed before I wake remember god it's for your sake amen.

well, anyway, i hope i've convinced you that you should read it if you haven't. i think vonnegut must've read this book because so much of it is reminiscent of his work, well without the sci-fi aspects or the autobiographical elements or kilgore trout. but if you like vonnegut, especially slaughter house-five, read it. now.

i should be in bed (again)

2008-02-11T00:37:00.000-08:00

so, i really hate talking about the weather because i feel it's the quintessential boring conversation topic, but just once more. (i'm probably lying about that, but a girl can dream, right?)

there's some thing about seeing a negative sign in front of the temperature that drives home what 'cold' really means. especially when that temperature happens to be composed of double digits, double digits that start with a 2. g'damn. today i saw a car that was frozen into a sunken parking space. it's wheel was half submerged in ice. i took pictures on my phone but i'm not sure how to get those to the internet for your viewing pleasure.

and i just found a picture my brother took of himself with my phone while i was home. it reminds me of when my mom packed a picture of the family with a box of my stuff when i first moved off to school. i love my family. they are wonderful and if you haven't met them, you should. you can come over next christmas and play board games with us. they more the merrier.

so i've been crafts a bit recently, knitting, glass work, sewing, and i made a necklace, too. if you are interested in seeing pictures, they're up on my space.

life's good for the most part. working, reading, getting out. i could do all three more and i'd be happier, but it's still pretty good.

i've been out of school for how long?

2008-01-24T21:46:00.000-08:00

so today was officially the day that i realized what all the fuss about winter is about. coming home from class (i'll get to that part in a minute), i decided to take the commuter train home from evanston because it's faster and takes me closer to home. however, it only runs once an hour. this meant that i stood for a half an hour huddled between the wall and a trash can trying not to look at a possibly drunk definitely toothless man while occupied only by the thoughts of probable amputation when my extremities never regain feeling. on the train i fantasized about the cab that would envelop me in warmth and strange smells and whisk me indifferently the last half mile home. after i got off the train, i stupidly thought to catch a cab going in a homewardly direction. i think i would've cried if it wouldn't've frozen my tear ducts shut. somehow my feet got me home despite the fact that my brain no longer sensed that they were attached to my ankles. even after dethawing in the shower for a half an hour my thighs were still puffy and red from their desire to jump away from the rest of my body and burrow underground in an attempt to contain what little heat they still possessed. i have never in my life felt as cold as i did tonight. i finally understand what the fuck everyone means when the say "brutally cold". and it's still only january. it must be hell to be homeless in this city. i was supposed to go out tonight, but i likes sensation in my toes too much to leave the house again.

in other, less whiny news, i had my first glass blowing class tonight! it was fun. i'm not very good at it (yet!), but it was very interesting nonetheless. i made a snowman something or other which i think is entirely functionless and a paperweight. aren't you proud of me? soon, you may be so lucky as to receive a useless handcrafted me original. isn't that an exciting prospect? so that's one new year's resolution that can be checked off the list. i should probably keep tabs on the other ones, too.

well, my internet addiction hasn't gotten any better but i have channeled it into a slightly more productive route. and by productive i mean productive toward the goal of getting me laid. i joined okcupid. yes, i am now officially a member of an online dating community. and i potentially have a date this weekend? i don't know how i feel about this. i'm still dubious of people i meet online but maybe this guy'll be awesome. maybe? what do i do if i'm just not interested? i don't know that i've ever gone on a date before. okay, that's not true, but i sure haven't gone on one with someone i met on the internet. anyway, call me if you interested in the details. something should be going down this weekend.

love you!

new year's, y'all!

2007-12-31T15:12:00.000-08:00

so this is the first year that new year's has ever really meant anything to me. normally it's more of the "this year i'm not gonna eat chips" variety. this is the first time that i think a new year has coincided with some sort of change in myself and my surroundings. i've finally settled into chicago and i finally consider it home. so time to make some resolutions, right? only feasible, concrete resolutions. nothing far-fetched like "kick my internet addiction." baby steps. here goes.

take glass blowing class(es)
take trapeze class(es)
buy boots (okay, that's not really a resolution so much as something i really need to do)
write in my actual journal at least once a week (something of substance)
finish a book at least once every two weeks
print out digital pictures
assemble said pictures into a photo album
stop spending any two consecutive hours online, unless doing something of import, which i never am.
get bike
ride bike, despite numbing cold
don't ride bike drunk (for realzies)
stop saying for realzies
screenprint
write more letters
call people
travel
keep room clean
stop gorging around free food
go on dates
go to more concerts
use (if possible, exclusively) reusable shopping bags
forget the haters

that's good for now. i think i can do all that. you should make some, too. we can be each others motivation. it could be fun. love you lots.
xo- r

baby's first winter

2007-12-11T13:55:00.000-08:00

so it's been a while since i've posted. i've gotten lazy. can i even say gotten? i've kinda been that way for a while, or forever, take your pick. anywho, so have i done anything worth posting about? i mean, my life is soooo exciting! i hang out with famous people everyday and drink krissy every night til 8 in the morning! or i watch a lot of buffy in my bed. six of one, half dozen of the other.
well, it snowed a couple times. i got my first taste of winter. it's pretty magical. i'm new to this whole snow thing so it's pretty awesome. man, i've seen snow before, but my mind is still blown by just seeing it around. ever wonder how people dealt with completely new experiences before film and the internet and phones? i do.

that said, i now completely understand why winter's a bitch, ice. ice pretty much blows. i drunkenly decided to walk home 2 and a half miles from brian, linzy, and jon's christmas party the other night. an hour and 7ish wipe-outs later, i arrived semi-safely home. man, that was not worth the ten bucks a taxi would have been. sometimes it pisses me off how i refuse to learn things vicariously. i seem to be stubborn at all the wrong times. ah well, now i know, right?

i gave up my shift at work tonight because i'm a push over. (i should work on that, too.) so i've decided i absolutely cannot stay in tonight just to surf the internet and watch some more buffy and still go to bed at 2 am. but fuck, it's raining, please don't get below freezing, chicago, please? i'll bake you cookies? i'll make you a snow man? well, i should leave the house, before i come up with a lame excuse not to. much love to you all, and if you're in georgia, i'll be seeing you soon.

being productive, vaguely

2007-11-05T16:46:00.000-08:00

today was my day off. my manager did call me, but i didn't hear the phone so i was saved being a martyr and going in.

i got my driver's license today!

i actually got nervous taking the written exam. i don't know the legal consequences of a dui, for example. but then i remembered the answer is always "all of the above."
when i got my photo taken the guy told me i was a georgia peach. it's official.
i am legally a redhead.

started reading burn collector again.

i didn't get that into it when i read it before, but it seems really apt right now.
he keeps talking about anticipation being better than pay-off. that's a pretty big reason i'm really digging on life right now. there's so much potential.

went to the art institute again for no other reason than i'm rarely downtown.

there's a jasper johns exhibit about his use of gray throughout his career.
my mind was blown. i have a tremendous amount of respect for him so it was awesome to see such an extensive collection of his works.
you could spend months in that museum and not see everything.
it made me wish for talent, a muse, and copious amount of money to bequeath to the arts. for now i'll stick to knitting, with the occasional foray into screenprinting.

in other news, i totally unpacked all my shit. it makes me feel so much more stable. i haven't finished putting pictures and art on my walls, and i haven't bought much needed drapes, but in time, in time.

also, i'll be home for my birthday and thanksgiving. i'll be rad to the max. ya heard.

it's sushi time!

so cosmopolitan

2007-11-01T23:27:00.000-07:00

so i keep starting posts but not finishing them. i should go to bed, but i just don't want to. maybe this time i'll finish my post.

my life:

working

it's awesome.
i really like my coworkers. i was worried about fitting in, or rather staying in my shell and not making friends. if anything i've done the opposite: i've been really loud. i think i scare my manager a little. i might scare him more than a little. he didn't realize what i meant when i told him in my interview that i'm loud and obnoxious. he does now.
it's making me think about my vegetarianism. i'm not sure where i stand anymore. i've just kind of been doing it out of habit. i think working at the diner will make me make a stronger stand one way or the other.
must behave, must behave, must not earn a reputation this early, must behave.

playing

saw my coworker's band. they rocked. check 'em out: scotland yard gospel choir. the openers included the magician that used to open for bozo the clown, and a performance art piece which involved two chicks reenacting a light saber fight. it was a great show.
been exploring a little. cemeteries fascinate me. i want to know all about the people, who they were, what they did, especially the gravestones that are worn down with age or just state "mutter" or "j.b.s." i suppose i should take the guided tour, but to me cemeteries are so personal. plus, for most of the people, i prefer the stories in my head to the reality.
been slacking off on my knitting and my online scrabble, but i think once i get a little more rhythm to my life, i'll get back to them.
been watching a lot of the prisoner, a british drama from the late sixties. if you like david lynch, you need to check it out. the more i watch, the more i want to watch, and the less i understand.
it's my sister's birthday tomorrow. or rather today. i need to get her something super awesome when i get off work.
taking taxis, while expensive, makes me feel really adult and cosmopolitan in a very juvenile sort of way. i think that's the product of growing up in the suburbs.

keepin' in touch

got your postcard, fran! i just got some fresh baked goods, i have no clue what state they'll get to in, but the us post will see them shortly.
got to talk to helen on skype for an hour. an ammmaaaazing hour. since i have video but she doesn't, she got to see me, but i forgot that she could. that led to some incriminating facial expressions. i'm working on a mix for ya, girl.
if you want to call me, i'd love to talk, and i assure you there will be giggling.

to summarize, life is awesome. every day, i feel giddy inside. i take this as a good sign. i've always been a sucker for anticipation. now i just need to finish unpacking my shit (still?! i know.)

job, job, job, i got a job!

2007-10-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

yayay!! i got two, count 'em two, jobs! hooooray! i finished my first day of training today with the princeton review. i'm getting pretty stoked, and i don't ever really describe myself as stoked about anything. i get workbooks and teacher's manuals and vaguely stereotypical cartoon characters to exemplify different learning styles. everyone seems nice so far. i hope i can work around the schedule of my other job to make it work. i got the job at the veggie place, too, and train on monday. i let you know how it goes!

p.s.
there's something about unlikely friendships between different species of animals that makes me uniquely happy. please enjoy these:

and:

some good, some bad

2007-10-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

this post is not in bullet points, but it has a lot of pretty pictures!

to start the day of my lovely sister got me up to get breakfast across the street. she's superb. i got all excited for my interview today and then, in accordance with my daily routine, spent an unnecessary amount of time on the internet. two months of unemployment and a serious internet addiction have led to consider getting 2-3 jobs. we'll see though, first they have to be offered to me anyway, i leave the house to make my way across town and what do i find?

this:
that is where my bike should be. all that is left, however, is my cut lock. well, at least they left the lock so i didn't stand there for a minute or two and think i was crazy and that my bike was really somewhere else. welcome to chicago, i guess. maybe this'll wizen me up, soon i'll be totally street smart or something. you can also see the mysterious (and now decomposing) husk of corn that appeared in front of our building a week or so ago. at least they didn't steal you, my little husk, at least i still have you...

anyway, luckily, i budgeted in enough time to catch the bus and meander around lakeview for a while. i bought a couple cds and the upright citizens brigade to make me feel better. i also watched other people bike with blatant envy. as i walked around the city, i took a lot of pictures.

now, i readily admit that i know this only because i took art history during my last semester and happened to pay attention. there's a famous piece from michelangelo's sistine chapel regarding the temptation and expulsion of adam and eve from paradise. well, here it is rendered on the side of convenience store under a row of neon signs advertising cheap and delicious beer. This immediately redeemed the city of chicago in my eyes.

i also found this great installation on the side of a building (art! in public space! yay!).

this neighborhood is beautiful, but i can't imagine how much it costs to live in any of these houses. this one's sold by sotheby's. that equals very expensive.

so i made my way up to the gayest part of town. no, no, not here, where there are only four prominently displaced rainbow flags:

but here, where poorly rendered gay men exchange lustful glances around a startlingly realistic budlight in an ad that encourages you to "be yourself." yes, this is where i would be working if they choose to give me the job. so dates? not so much, but i'm sure i'd get invited to a killer halloween party.

anyway, tomorrow morning i have my princeton review interview. whoo! sleepy time!

employed?

2007-10-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

so today in addition to going door to door to restaurants to get the same old, "well, no, we're not hiring, but we're always accepting applications" i did a lot of applying online

i have two interviews! for two jobs that i think i could hold at the same time and that i'm excited about!

the first is with the princeton review. i'd be tutoring kids grades 1-8 after school. i have to do an interactive presentation. i'm thinking about teaching them to knit, like actually bringing in yarn and needles and pictures, is that too much? any other ideas?
the second is with the best and most well-known vegetarian restaurant in chicago. that could be cool as shit. i'd start out as a host/busser, but it sounds like the transition to server could be quick once they realize how awesome i am.
hooray!

i got out of the house today and went to a stitch n bitch. it was nice. there was stitching and bitching. slowly but surely...
happy, happy, happy, now i just need a date... but there's still time for that one. besides i probably need to get my shit out of boxes before i bring a boy around.

urpdates.

2007-10-12T16:38:00.000-07:00

so i haven't posted in a while because i keep waiting, hoping that i'll be able to post that i'm employed. i'm not, but other stuff's been going on, too.

i've been looking for a job

had one interview for a place that's very far away.

the guy said i was awesome and i'd totally fit in there and there'd be dancing in meadows and copious drinking and laughing and all would be merry.
i didn't get it because i live far away and would have to bike through kinda seedy parts of town late at night and he was concerned with my "safety."
sigh.

talked to a few places around where i live

they aren't hiring
i feel like a chode giving people my resume

gotta keep on keeping on, i suppose

chicago's amazing

i've been trying to get out

went to Beirut, which was amazing, as is the new album
went to a bike workshop for girls and trans only, it was cool, learned about my bike, got to talk to some nifty bike girls
i think i've been to every yarn store in the city of chicago, yarn is my friend

dr. furey recommended some places to check out, i'm psyched about exploring, but still don't know how much i'll actually do before i get a job

yay crafts!

i finished my fingerless gloves, it took a little experimenting with the pattern though since i have freakishly long hands. i feel more confident about tackling some harder patterns.
now i'm making a chain. it's a fun pattern and it'll be my first felting experience.
knitting in public seems to be the most surefire way to get strangers to talk to you, short of having a small child or puppy. for once in my life, i like strangers talking to me.

i found out my mom's oldest sister has breast cancer. i think they caught it early, but it's still scary. we'll know more in a couple weeks. until then everyone seems mostly upbeat.

well, i'm off to a flea market type thing at a local venue. much love to all.

yay!!

2007-10-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

sooooo.....
i'm excited. today was a very good day.
i...

went to the Museum of Contemporary Art.

sure it had the obligatory huge canvases painted entirely one color, but what contemporary art exhibit would be complete without them?
it also had an exhibit about art and rock and roll. it was hardcore. all the ian curtis and kim gordon you could've asked for.

got my first job interview! on friday!

it's kinda far away and it's only part-time, but it's a start, right?
it sounds a lot like the last resort, which, despite the way i talked about it, is what i'm looking for in a restaurant.
now i need to figure out a biking-friendly interview outfit. this might require a trip to target.
they said professional appearance, i hope they don't mind that i'm bald.

in other news,

i love crafting!!! i guess it's good that diy stuff's sort of cool now.

bought a screen printing set, whooo!

the impulse buys that i make when i don't have a voice of reason to talk me down.

now i need shirts and photoshop...

i bought some (unnecessarily) expensive yarn. i think i'm going to make fingerless gloves.
i miss helen.

i went to see the blow last night.

she's so cute.
she played with two bands, one was really awesome live (high places), the other sucked (videohippos). the latter, however, had a shirtless drummer which more than made up for it. sigh, it's been too long.
it was my first late night activity alone. yay for not being a hermit (all of the time)!
i need more cardigans and ballet flats if i want to fit in in this crowd.

more than ever, i'm obsessed with Beirut.

i've never been infatuated with a band like this. nor have i ever seriously entertained the thought of having sex with a musician because of their music. until now...
check out the website for their new album, flying club cup. my favorites are #1 and #7.
they're playing on thursday! yay! i should bring them crafts! i'm not going to, though...

my sister and i have started watching the IT crowd.

it's funnier than i thought it would be (being a show following a tech support team).
it's worth a watch, if you've got the time and inclination.

it seems i looooove exclamation points today. maybe the nonchalance of the hipsters is having an adverse effect.
i've started laughing to myself in public.

i hope that onlookers see this as "charming" instead of "crazy."
i need more social interaction, but i'm working on it.
sometimes, the noises i make to myself startle the cats.

that's what i got for now. i'll keep you posted. love!

a-hoy-hoy

2007-09-24T18:20:00.000-07:00

hello again, blogger. it's been a while, hasn't it?

in light of the daunting but rather mundane task of recording the recent details of my life i will follow my own advice to erin and use bullets:

went to georgia

visited athens

go dawgs!
happy birthday victoria
i'm starting to eat fish now sort of
it was nice to see familiar faces again
shaved my head
realized winter's going to be very cold

visited atlanta

started knitting a hat
bonded with my mama over knitting
she gave me all of her knitting supplies (a lot), now i can't allow myself to quit again
saw atlanta kids, everyone seems to be in a pretty good place right now which is reassuring, but everyone's really poor
felt like an adult
watched the running man, it's even more amazing than i remember it being, finished my hat
met becky's new(-ish) girlfriend, who is awesome and i highly approve of
becky and i have made tentative plans to start a zine, i have some ideas, but i don't know that i have the talent to pull them off
drank with my brother, wonderful

all and all, it was what i needed, seeing everyone, seeing athens again now that i'm not a part of it anymore. i guess i got some closure i didn't realize i needed.

i've moved to chicago

my sister is a wonderful human being
i've moved in with her

i'm like a third cat
we've been watching a lot of the office

listening to teagan and sara which is making me broody
i need a job

i wish i had a relevant degree
tomorrow, i will finish my resume

so, i guess that's my life right now. it's been an interesting month of unemployment, but i'm ready for some stability. i'm really excited about the city. so far, it's a really awesome place. if i don't go all chicken-shit and become a hermit, i think i'll do well. i'll let you know how it goes...